What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word 'Statistics?' Most would say, "that awful class I had to take in college that NO one understood." Some would refer to sports: ERA's, free throw percentages, saves (sorry for those of you that have no idea what any of these sports things are). Some statistics you want higher, others are definitely better lower.
The statistic in my case: women over 30 only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month. Did you read that correctly?! YES! Only 20%. (Don't tell all those teenage girls rolling around in the back seats of their boyfriends cars!)
I was pretty disappointed this evening finding out that we are not in the positive range of that statistic. Emotions are definitely still raw at this point. Trying hard to ignore those feelings of failure. It is difficult though. What's the outcome of trying something and not succeeding? Failure. Alright, let's get the thesaurus out and look up some different phrases for that, failure sounds WAY too harsh. To be defeated? No way, I definitely don't want to feel that way. Go down swinging? Would tie nicely into the baseball reference above. Miss the boat? Yes, we have missed the boat this month; but that doesn't mean there won't be another boat next month.
Alright, well I feel a little better now. I knew the chance was slim, and I wasn't feeling any of the symptoms that would lead to a positive test: extreme fatigue, very sore chest, bloating. But I did go out to happy hour tonight and, without a doubt, i am disappointed that I didn't share that bottle of wine with the girls.
On a positive note, ... ... I know I had something to write here... ... I can have a drink at the pool with the girls this weekend? Ugh, how utterly depressing the only positive outcome I can think of involves alcohol. "Completely appropriate," Jeremy would say. Who, by the way, has been very supportive these last few days, understanding something was a little off with me, and reassuring me that we have plenty of time, "what's the rush, it's only been one month, remember?"
Next weekend we celebrate our one year anniversary. I shared Mother's Day with my birthday, and now we're sharing Father's Day with our anniversary. Funny how that worked out, huh? We'll be driving down to Sierra Vista next Fri to visit my parents, and then returning Sunday to see Jeremy's parents. We will officially celebrate our anniversary a little later this month in Greer, I'm excited to get out of this heat! Record temps today for this time of year, with extreme heat warnings. I'm in the process of defrosting the top of our wedding cake to traditionally eat on our anniversary, not quite sure if that will work out or not. I have also completed our wedding album for our "paper" anniversary gift (I'm still working on our honeymoon album) and can't wait to get those!
Trying to keep my head up.
